Understanding Victim Blame in Coercive Control
Understanding victim blame in coercive control is essential for dismantling the harmful narratives that keep survivors silent, ashamed, or unsupported. Too often, victims of coercive control are asked why they stayed, why they didn’t speak up sooner, or why they “let” the abuse happen—questions that shift responsibility away from the abuser and onto the survivor.
This course reveals how victim-blaming is not only widespread in public discourse but also deeply internalised by those experiencing coercive control. Survivors may begin to believe they are the problem, especially when manipulation and gaslighting have already worn down their sense of self-worth and clarity.
Abusers frequently manipulate victims into feeling responsible for the abuse, using tactics like guilt, shame, and blame to control their partners. This tactic, known as victim-blaming, makes victims question their own actions and believe they’re at fault. By internalising this blame, victims feel responsible for “fixing” the relationship, reinforcing their dependence on the abuser. Recognising this manipulation is crucial for breaking free from coercive control and regaining self-worth.
Our Family Violence Mindset Solutions Coercive Control Course helps individuals understand these tactics, providing tools for rejecting misplaced blame.
How Abusers Shift Responsibility onto Victims
- Gaslighting and Manipulation – Abusers deny events, twist facts, and make victims question their own experiences.
- Creating Guilt – Abusers make victims feel guilty for causing the abuse, claiming they “made” the abuser react that way.
- Using ‘Love’ as Justification – Abusers may say they act out of love, making victims feel responsible for “provoking” protective or angry behaviour.
- Blaming the Victim’s Behaviour – Abusers may claim the victim’s actions “force” them to react in controlling ways.
- False Apologies and Excuses – Sometimes abusers apologise but blame external factors, making the victim feel partially responsible.
Our course offers strategies for recognising these tactics and breaking free from the cycle of self-blame. Learn more about understanding and overcoming victim-blaming.
Building Resilience Against Blame
Rejecting misplaced blame is essential for recovery and self-worth. Family Violence Mindset Solutions provides resources to help survivors stand strong. Contact us for support.