Steps to Safely Leave an Abusive Relationship

What You’ll Learn

1. Recognizing Abuse

• Understand the different types of abuse (physical, emotional, psychological, financial).
• Identify the signs of control and manipulation, so you can acknowledge the harmful patterns in your relationship.

2. Creating a Safety Plan

• How to pack essential items like documents, money, medications, and emergency phone numbers.
• How to identify a safe place to go if you need to leave quickly, such as a friend’s house, a shelter, or a safe community space.
• How to plan your escape in a way that minimizes risk, including the timing and method of leaving.

3. Building a Support System

• How to reach out for help from trusted friends, family members, or professional counselors who can provide guidance and emotional support.
• How to find and use local resources, such as domestic violence hotlines, shelters, and legal services, that can assist with your safety and next steps.

4. Securing Your Finances

• How to discreetly save money and open a separate bank account if necessary.
• Understanding your financial situation so you can prepare for independence after leaving the relationship.

5. Planning Your Exit

• How to time your departure for safety, ensuring you leave when it’s least risky and without raising suspicion.
• How to avoid confrontation and plan your escape with as little stress or conflict as possible.

6. Alerting Authorities (When Needed)

• How to contact the police if necessary and file a report for your safety.
• The importance of documenting abuse for legal purposes, which can be helpful for restraining orders or any legal action you may pursue.

7. Leaving and Going to a Safe Place

• What to do immediately after leaving to ensure you are safe and secure in your new environment.
• How to stay low-key and avoid your abuser finding out where you are.

8. Changing Your Contact Information

• How to protect your privacy by changing phone numbers, email addresses, and social media accounts.
• Blocking communication with your abuser to reduce contact and keep your distance.

9. Legal Protection and Advice

• How to seek legal protections, like restraining orders, to prevent further contact or harassment from your abuser.
• The importance of consulting a lawyer about custody, property, and other legal matters to protect your rights.

10. Healing and Rebuilding

• How to process the emotional and psychological effects of abuse and seek therapy or counseling.
• How to rebuild your confidence and independence after leaving, and what steps to take to ensure a healthier, safer future.